Ozz-the-Wanderer on DeviantArthttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/https://www.deviantart.com/ozz-the-wanderer/art/Cosmo-and-Cream-A-Healthy-Snack-289660150Ozz-the-Wanderer

Deviation Actions

Ozz-the-Wanderer's avatar

Cosmo and Cream: A Healthy Snack

Published:
14.8K Views

Description

See the older version (sort of) here, [link]

This is my overdue request for ~Nightflash1 and a remake (of sorts) of my older picture seen here, [link] .

For a detailed explanation of my digital art technique, see my painfully-long monologue here, [link] .

Notes
- In the above link's piece, I blurred everything so it would look smoother but regretted it in retrospect. I did not blur this piece and feel it's better for it.
- I used a different coloring method than the last piece. I don't have to bore you with the details because it's all right here, [link] .

Truth be told, I prefer the older coloring method as it lets the colors fade into one another instead of abruptly cutting back and forth.

Anyway, that does it for technical notes. Stay tuned for the Effing Long Story below.

*********************************************
EFFING LONG STORY BELOW
*********************************************

Fanfictions. There are more of them than anyone knows what to do with, yet they continue to surface in greater numbers every year. Imagine if you will, that each of these seemingly trivial, definitely boring, stories were true; serving as an infinite supply of alternate universes, parallel timelines, what-if scenarios and elseworlds for the characters to suffer, er live in.

Hello. My name is not important, but in order for the Twilight Zone joke to get across, you may as well call me Rod Serling. What you’re about to visit (and immediately wish you hadn’t) is an alternate universe of the Sonic the Hedgehog series (seriously, leave before it’s too late). Somewhere amidst a sea of Sonally/Sonamy ship wars and a poorly-executed Sonic-My Name is Earl crossover is a timeline created by an unrepentant wish-fulfillment artist. This timeline largely follows the games’ cannon but some of the events of Sonic X have also occurred, save for the death of show-specific character Cosmo, much to the chagrin of fans who wish she was dead before her debut.

It is a warm, sunny day…No. It is a cloudy afternoon at the Mystic Ruin train station and Winnie the Pooh can be seen flying through the winds by means of red balloon (the other 98 are in storage). The train emits screeches and sparks as it comes to a slow stop. The doors hiss open and the locomotion’s sole passenger steps out onto the crudely-constructed but strangely-sturdy wooden platform. The passenger is the bit character, Cream the Rabbit. The child turns around to face the train conductor’s cockpit and waves to the man sitting in it.

“Thank you Mr. Conductor!” the rabbit happily chimed a little too loudly.

“No, thank you!” the conductor replied, returning Cream’s smile and wave. “Your tickets are the only business the railroads get these days!”

The train returned to Station Square (somehow in reverse) and Cream hopped down the platforms stairs, delighting in hearing the wood creek under her feet. After ten creaks, Cream turned around and saw a red building sitting on top of a large hill in the distance. It is the only sign of civilization in the tropical meadow besides the nearby elevated railroad.

“So that’s Mr. Tails’ Workshop.” Cream said to herself, fulfilling the Sonic series’ contractual obligation to use the, ‘So that’s [blank]’ statement once per story. “He didn’t say much on the phone. I wonder why he wanted me to come see him.”

“Who’re you talking to!?” an online critic screamed at his screen as he watched this scene. Of course, he decided to review fan fictions of all things, so he really should be used to this by now. But enough about him.

The wind picked up and rain started trickling down. Cream shielded her eyes with one hand and held her dress down with the other as she soldiered on to the house. After climbing up the hill and stopping at an awning over the workshop’s only entrance, Cream took a second straighten her ears and unwrinkled her dress just like her mother taught her before knocking on the door.

“H-hello?” a voice smaller than a whisper squirmed out of a peep hole on the door. A blue eye looked down at Cream, almost terrified of the outside world.

“Good day, Mrs. Cosmo!” Cream chimed again with a curtsey, not quite grasping the complexities of ‘Ms’ and ‘Mrs’ at her young age.

“Oh, Cream!” Cosmo’s voice rose (no pun intended) to a soft elation. She immediately opened the door and welcomed her friend into the bright living room behind her. “Whatever brings you here on this wonderful day?” …It should be noted that Cosmo being a plant, considered rainy days to be a good thing. It should also be noted that it was not raining very hard at the moment, so one could hardly call it a “wonderful day” even by her standards.

“Mr. Tails called me and said he needed me to visit.” Cream answered as she wiped her feet on the entrance rug. “But he didn’t say why.”

Cosmo hastily shut the door and turned the deadbolt before turning to face Cream. “Oh Miles. He can be so scatterbrained when he’s working on a machine. Let me get him for you.”

As Cream watched Cosmo walk off into the part of the workshop reserved for Tails’ creations, she couldn’t help but notice that she wasn’t invited to sit down. The rabbit found this rather annoying as she was denied the same invitation on the train earlier and was getting tired of standing. She contemplated rolling her eyes, but that would have been rude.

Thankfully, she didn’t have to think about this for long as Cosmo called her into the next room. Cream found the room to be completely black, save for the light coming in from the living room. Seeing as how it was not quite bedtime, she suspected something was amiss. Before she could feel unnerved, she heard a light crash behind her. A shattered vase lay at her heels.

“G’uh! Grodie vase!” an exasperated voice whined. It sounded a lot like Cosmo, but inflected like an 80’s valley girl. “Like, could you take a step back?”

Cream happily acquiesced without a second thought. Immediately upon doing so, she felt something press down on the back of her head very hard and heard the same light crash. Before her eyes rolled in to the back of her head and black consumed her vision, she heard the voice, like, thank her for complying.

Being unconscious is interesting. It’s like being asleep but…actually, it’s exactly like being asleep. It’s not interesting at all. Regardless, Cream did not lift her eyelids and feel her head spin until five minutes after passing out. She had the strangest thought that she could not move her arms, but that would be silly. With a throb in her head, she managed to look down at her arms and, oddly enough, they were bound to her back by ropes tied tightly around her waist. Her legs were free, but with her head bucking like her rocking horse after she had too much sugar, there was no way she could pick herself up.

“Mmph…” Cream made another discovery: her mouth was sealed shut. It’s possible someone put tape over her mouth like her mom does when she had too much sugar, but it seemed far more likely that her mouth simply fused itself shut.

“Oh hey chick!” everything in Cream’s ears echoed and ringed, but she could make out that it was the valley girl. Cream turned her head and shook some cobwebs out to see it was Cosmo. “I was wonderin’ when you’d get up. Omigod, I was, like, so afraid I hit you too hard! That would have been such a bummer! But you’re okay now, so it’s all okay and some junk!”

The room was still very dark and everything was coming in through a fog, but Cream could see an exaggerated swaying in Cosmo’s hips as she walked up to her, grabbed at something beneath her and suddenly, she was up in the air. Looking down at her legs, Cream saw she was sitting on something flat; like the tray she carries her crayons with at home. A tray that Cosmo was now easily holding up with one hand.

“Sooo,” Cosmo snapped Cream out of her thoughts. “I betcha wonder’n what’s goin’ on right now, aint’cha? Well, y’know how I told you and Sonic and Tails and everyone else I was the last Seedrian, and the Metarex were buggin’ me everywhere I went? I kinda lied…”

Cream’s eyes widened at this. Lying was so…dishonest. Shame on Cosmo.

“Turns out, Seedrians need a smidge more than just peace, love and dirtnsunlight. Only we ran outta resources a long, long time ago in our galaxy far, far away and we had no idea where to get more. Thing’s were totally harsh until the regular Seedrians had the truly, truly outrageous idea to go out n’ find more resources on other planets. The Regs just finished their ship n’ were ready to boldly go when the Metarex got the jump on ‘em and…well, you know the rest. So, the Mets were a little less ‘Tryin’ to save their species but went bonkers,’ and more, ‘Give us the gas.’ Go fig, right?”

As Cosmo finished her seemingly-endless, definitely brainless, monologue, she came to a wall seemingly made out of chrome. Cosmo placed a hand on the structure and lights turned on all over it, revealing it to be a wall-sized computer, complete with oversized monitor screen and too many buttons for anyone to use in one lifetime, none of which were labeled. Cream squinted her eyes and shook her head when the lights overwhelmed her for a second.

“You like it?” Cosmo asked. “The computer came straight from the Technodrome and runs on Cobra software. Ain’t it radical?”

Before Cream could figure out how a really old computer could be considered a political extremist, she had to adjust to something far more urgent. With the press of a button, Cosmo brought an image to the big screen Cream never thought she’d see again.

A purple figure lit up the dark room, “Agent White Seed…” it said in a metallic, soulless voice.

“Drf Oaf!” the words were barely audible past Cream’s sealed mouth.

“Oh, and Sonic didn’t kill the Mets and, like, I’m one of ‘em…and some junk."

Cream did not have enough time to feel confused, let alone betrayed, when Dark Oak placed a fedora on his head and spoke, “So, you’ve finally found some loot, toots?” His metallic voice was gone, replaced with that of a hard-boiled detective with a slight voice filter.

“G’uh! Don’t call me toots, old man!” Cosmo responded in disgust, stamping one foot but not losing her grip on Cream.

“Get used to it. You’re the last dame in our species…By the way, we’re all looking forward to your 5,683rd birthday.” Cosmo wrinkled her brows in confusion at this remark, but Dark Oak continued before anything could be asked. “You’ve done good, kid. With them findings you got us, we’ll get outta this rut we’ve been in and be back on top of the galaxy. Now be a doll and give us your coordinates so we can join ya’s.”

“Uh, barf me out!” Cosmo shot back, much to Cream’s and Dark Oak’s surprise. “You totally Bogarted that last find we made and I didn’t get anything! This planet’s full of resources and you’re not getting your old hands on any of ‘em!”

“Whattaya a wise guy?” Dark Oak couldn’t believe what he just heard. “This is the survival of your species we’re talkin’ about here! Now you start squealin’ and tell us where to find ya! We haven’t refueled in centuries! We’re jiving here and it’s a bad scene!”

“Like, not my problem. Have fun watching your faces rust, clunkers.”

“Dingbat youth!”

“Grodie old-head!”

Cosmo punched her console, cutting off the transmission with Dark Oak. The valley girl leaned on her fist and held her head down, though not once losing her hold on Cream. A few seconds passed before Cosmo lifted her head and turned back to Cream with a closed-eye smile.

“Sorry about that. Those guys are total goobers. Well, yur probably totally confused and junk, so I should just get this over with.”

Cosmo carried Cream through a doorway into a lit room. When Cream’s eyes adjusted to the lights, she saw a table, garish tile flooring, a sink with a dish rack and a refrigerator. She wasn’t sure why, but she was now in a kitchen. She looked around and finally saw something familiar: Tails, who was looking out a window by the sink. She widened her eyes and mumbled as loud as she could to catch his attention.

“Oh. Hey Cream.” He said nonchalantly, seemingly not alarmed by Cream’s current distress. “If you haven’t guessed by now…I’m not the one who wanted you to come. You didn’t tell her, did you Cosmo?”

Cream looked back at Cosmo, panic growing in her eyes. Cosmo still had a smile on her face.

“Nah. But she’s gonna find out soon enough, right?”

Tails shook his head as he made his way to the dark room Cream and Cosmo just left. Before stepping out, he looked back at Cream and said, “If you don’t know what ‘Soylent Green’ is, now’s a good time to know what ‘Soylent Green’ is.”

“We’re still watchin’ 'Breakfast Club' later, right?” Cosmo asked, pouting her lips to win Tails over.

“Oy. Why is it always Breakfast Club?” Tails asked with a groan.

“Because life is always 'Breakfast Club'!” Cosmo shouted with a twitch in her eye.

Cream’s heart sank as Tails sank into the blackness of the next room, leaving her alone with this psychotic Cosmo. This Metarex with an alien vocabulary. She tried to move her legs, but they had fallen asleep.

What was wrong with Cosmo? What was she doing? Why was she so strong? Where is Waldo? So many questions ran through Cream’s mind as all she could do to defend herself was tear up and hope some vestige of goodness in Cosmo would convince her to let her go. This hopeless hope was dashed when Cosmo raised her up even higher and said,

“Like, sorry to keep ya hangin’ so long. I’ll get this over with now. For what it’s worth, you n’ yur friends are just what I needed…except Tails of course. Well, time to refuel…”

Cosmo slowly opened her mouth as wide as she could…then wider…and wider…and wider than anyone should be able to open their mouth. Cream stared down in horror into Cosmo’s throat and realized all too late that she wasn’t sitting on a crayon tray.
Image size
2644x3126px 2.04 MB
Comments171
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
PinkfongFan101's avatar
But Cream secretly had the power to grow bigger and gigantic!